


Unrequited

by SOFreddie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 04:40:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16422596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SOFreddie/pseuds/SOFreddie
Summary: Prompt: They love him but he has no clue. He flirts with their best friend at parties, and they flirt back. They know how their best friend feels about him (Jolene).





	Unrequited

**Author's Note:**

> This is for @reigningqueenofwords Coming Clean challenge. Sorry I’m late! My prompt is listed above. Though I strayed a bit (I’m sorry). As well as use of the song, Jolene, by Dolly Parton. Takes place at/around “Stanford”.

_Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene,_

_I’m begging of you: please don’t take my man_

_Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene,  
Please don’t take him just because you can_

Euphoria is a state of intense excitement and happiness. A feeling that buzzes through your being, tingles your toes and makes your fingers so numb. A sense of being intoxicated but with clarity. That’s what falling in love feels like. Being in love with someone so long, you get easily addicted to the feeling. But unrequited love…is one of the most soul-crushing experiences you can endure. I know. I know because I’m in love with a man, Sam Winchester.

Sam and I are the best of friends, a rare connection where you feel your soul instantly tied to theirs. Where you know, no matter the ups and downs of life, that person will be there, by your side. I fell in love with Sam, but he didn’t know. I never said as much, but I figured he’d just know from the way we interacted.

Until that night. Sam and I were at a party, hanging with a group of friends, drinking around the bonfire. Then she arrived, Jess. I had never seen her before amongst this group of friends. I didn’t really pay her any attention.

_Your beauty is beyond compare_  
With flaming locks of auburn hair  
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green

Jess started to appear more and more within our circle of friends. And I noticed Sam interacting with her more and more. I didn’t think anything of it at first, just Sam getting to know people. That’s what he did. He was friendly and kind and always wanted everyone to be comfortable. But they started to hang out alone, just outside the group of friends, interacting in private conversations and secret laughs.  
  
 _Your smile is like a breath of spring_  
Your voice is soft like summer rain  
And I cannot compete with you, Jolene

The more I saw of Sam with her, the more I started to think I’d lost my chance. Her face was soft and gentle, her voice high and feminine. She was so different from me in nearly every way. I asked Sam one day, about Jess. He said he was falling for her, that she was his “forever”. My heart shattered in my chest and the pain took my breath away as I gasped, “Sam, I love you.” His face grew stern and cold then, as he explained to me that I was too late, and he didn’t love me. I think a part of my soul died then.  
  
 _He talks about you in his sleep_  
There’s nothing I can do to keep  
From crying when he calls your name, Jolene

Sam and I shared an apartment together off campus. After that night, we seemed to keep our distance from each other. Whenever we did manage to try and talk, he talked about her and my heart broke again. He gets angry and storms off while I cried and wondered how loving someone could be such a terrible thing.  
  
 _And I can easily understand_  
How you could easily take my man  
But you don’t know what he means to me, Jolene  
  
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene,  
I’m begging of you: please don’t take my man  
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene,  
Please don’t take him just because you can

I begged and pleaded, screamed in my mind, wanting so much for Sam to love me. I knew I was better for him, that she could never have the connection we had. She had dated many men and could find anyone in a moments notice. But I could never love someone the way I loved Sam. He was it for me. My whole heart and existence were resigned to him and him alone.   
  
 _You could have your choice of men_  
But I could never love again  
He’s the only one for me, Jolene  
  
I had to have this talk with you  
My happiness depends on you  
And whatever you decide to do, Jolene

Jess didn’t seem to care. She swore she loved him, and I wondered for how long. I knew somehow she’d break his heart, that she wouldn’t be able to hold him for long. But the longer it went on, the more I felt unsure. Unsure of him, unsure of her, unsure of myself. Maybe he changed at the moment he met her. Maybe she changed and would settle down and commit, be the woman he needed. And I…maybe I just wasn’t enough.  
  
 _Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene,_  
I’m begging of you: please don’t take my man  
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene,  
Please don’t take him even though you can  
  


He began to build a life with her. To love her and commit to her, supporting her however he could. Jess was his whole world. He tried to be friends with me, to regain that connection that we had. But I was broken and hurt. The rejection stung too deep. I wanted all of him. I tried to pretend so that we could be friends, so he could still be in my life. But the pain was too much. So he pulled further and further away, burying himself in all that was her.

Then the fire happened. He came to me, broken and distraught, for comfort. I knew I couldn’t resist him, especially not in this great time of need. Because, even still, he had not left my heart. Sam was my forever, even if I wasn’t his. One night of holding him, giving him comfort, he turned in my arms and placed a feather light kiss to my lips tentatively. I was confused, to say the least. My heart jumped into my throat, racing so fast I felt light-headed.  _Did he love me too?_

But I could see the unshed tears in his eyes. Tears over her loss, and tears over his guilt with us. He needed comfort. It took all I had to pull away, to push him an arm’s length from me. I told him I couldn’t, that it wasn’t right. If he wanted me, loved me, he would have chosen me. I wouldn’t be his fix, his comfort, only to have him turn from me later.

He left then, with his brother. It’s been years and I think of him often. I’ll see or hear something and immediately think of sharing it with him. My heart aches knowing he’s not there. I don’t know where he is, or who he loves now. But he’ll always be  _my forever._


End file.
